Mistakes and Apologies
by IntoTheWilds
Summary: ONE-SHOT: MPREG WARNING: For Noobz40: Spencer keeps it hidden for as long as he can and when Hotch finally finds out it's with the very reaction the genius was dreading...


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds or its Characters!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: MPREG WARNINGl: This is for **noobz40** the lovely flower who gave me my hundredth review on **Seven Days to the Wolves.** Hope you like it sweetie!

IntoTheWilds

xxxx

* * *

_"We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward." __  
**― **_**_Alison Croggon_**

* * *

Spencer sat on Hotch's living-room couch, feet tucked in beneath him, arms wrapped about his middle as he stared into space—a rarity for the genius to say the least. Spencer was rarely, if ever, inactive. It was raining outside, great big fat globs of chilling wet spilling down from the heavily pregnant clouds and so absorbed in watching every drop, Spencer never heard the approach of his lover of two years.

"Spencer?"

The youth quite frankly leapt out of his skin, flinching violently away from the intrusion, his head snapping around and for a brief moment Aaron Hotchner was horrified to see real fear in his lover's eyes. When Spencer realised who had approached him, his body relaxed by degrees.

"Hey, sorry Aaron," the youth apologised wearily, "I didn't hear you come in."

Aaron opened his mouth to comment, but decided better of it. Lately, he had no idea what was going on with Spencer at all. Two years ago in, well, a genuine moment of madness, the pair of Agents had fallen into bed together. If Aaron was being perfectly honest, it was his infatuation of the genius that had in part failed his marriage, although that was something he had never admitted to Haley, or even Spencer because no doubt the youth would feel guilty and Aaron had never wanted that. By Aaron's choice they kept the whole relationship quiet, even from the team and funnily for a bunch of profilers they were easily fooled. The team believed he was going out with his good friend Beth and Spencer was his usual awkward non-dating self. It was simply easier that way, leaving them unhassled by Strauss and now her recent successor Mateo Cruz and maybe, just a little piece of Aaron was too afraid that if the team knew, their opinions would change dramatically of him and a part of him couldn't handle that. There were other factors too, but the man refused to dwell on them too much.

After two years he knew Spencer almost better then the youth new himself, so naturally when he was off even by the slightest bit, Aaron was no fool. He saw it a mile off. Spencer had been ill on and off, had lost then gained weight and hadn't allowed Aaron to touch him in weeks. The older agent was seriously worried.

"Baby," the elder man began gently taking a seat next to his coiled up lover, "What's wrong?"

Spencer swallowed heavily and his arms coiled tighter about his belly, God he was such a coward, he had been avoiding telling his lover for almost fourteen weeks, but he couldn't hide it anymore. At first Aaron didn't think he'd answer, but steeling his resolve Spencer faced the man and said the last thing Aaron ever expected to hear, "I'm eighteen weeks pregnant. I-I didn't even know I possessed the breeder gene, but when I kept getting sick, I went to the doctor and through a routine urine test it came up. I know I should've told you sooner, I...I just didn't know how."

Aaron's face drained completely of colour and the man turned completely ashen. On autopilot he moved, putting as much distance as he could between his body and Spencer's. Confusion lit across the younger's face, quickly followed by hurt. Uncoiling his body from the couch, Spencer stood and Aaron's heart nearly stopped. Without the usual heavy sweatshirts and cardigans, Spencer's middle was a tad more visible and his t-shirt pulled a little taunt over a very obvious swell. Sensing his gaze, Spencer wrapped his arms about his rounded abdomen, slender fingers rubbing soothingly over the swelled flesh. Aaron was sure he was going to be sick.

"A-Aaron," Spencer whispered timorously, "say something."

"Y-You're pregnant?" The older agent finally croaked dragging a trembling hand through his hair, "Y-You can't be."

No, no, _no!_ That was _not _what Spencer wanted to hear, "I-I can feel it moving," Spencer tried helplessly, "i-it's our unborn child Aaron."

Aaron flinched violently and when he looked at Spencer again his eyes burned with temper, "The team was never suppose to know, how can we keep it from them now if you're pregnant?!"

Tears welled in Spencer's honey eyes and fell unchecked. But when he spoke it was with defensive anger simmering just beneath the service, "I didn't exactly plan this Aaron. I didn't know, like most breeders I found out the hard way. I'm almost five months pregnant Aaron so abortion is out of the question." Not that he was willing to do it. Swallowing, Spencer tried a different tactic, "I can feel it moving and kicking, and...It's a baby, _our_ baby. W-We can tell the team."

Aaron threw his hands up in fury, "Our jobs Reid!"

"Is that what you're worried about?" Spencer snapped in disgust, "I offered countless times to transfer out of the BAU; I was and am still willing to do that for you, for us!"

Spencer could feel the baby wriggling with his growing distress and with a deep breath he forced himself to calm down, a hand rubbing circles over the firm bump in a comforting manner. The gesture seemed to only annoy Aaron further.

"I don't want the team to know and now we can't hide it from them!"

"Why does it matter anymore?"

"I don't want this baby!"

Spencer's body went rigid, eyes widening slightly and the pain there was so very raw and heartbreaking. Aaron breathed heavily, eyes riddled with so many emotions, but he didn't take the words back.

"You...Aaron, it's our baby," Spencer whimpered meekly. "Aaron...Please."

"I'll...I'll see you tomorrow Reid, at work."

"Aaron, I—"

"Go home Reid."

Spencer had always believed a heart could not literally break from such a frivolous situation as a loved one being hurtful, but God, he was firmly eating his words. Barely able to pull down a breath, the gangly youth hurriedly pulled on his jacket, grabbed his messenger bag and darted from the living-room, the front door slamming ominously behind him. The youth was rain drenched before he even reached his SUV, a purchase near beaten into him by Morgan after his old piece of junk gave up the good fight. Robotically Spencer pulled from Aaron's drive way and God only knows how, but he managed to get himself out of there without incident and it only took the boy five minutes to realise where his vacant thoughts were guiding him to.

With tears falling, he didn't even care anymore. Aaron didn't want the baby and had ordered him out if his house. All bets were off and if that meant the wrath of a certain bubbly blonde analyst, so be it.

* * *

/~/~/~/~/~/~/

* * *

Derek Morgan laughed and caught the small soft toy when it was flung at his head, "Oh baby mama, did I hit a nerve?"

"Bite me Derek Morgan," Penelope called not unkindly heading for the door when a timid knock filled her apartment.

Upon opening it, Garcia got quite a shock. A drowned Spencer Reid and the very obvious signs of recent crying, "Um, hey Garcia, do you mind if I-I come in?"

"Yes of course! Jesus Reid, why on earth are you outside in that God awful storm?"

Nudging him inside, Garcia was working through scenarios in her brain. What on Earth could have her baby genius so upset? The only thing that came remotely to mind was his mother, but no, if that were the case, Spencer would have gone straight to Las Vegas and in the event he sought out one of the team, JJ would have been at the top of the list. There was one other option, but for the time being Garcia kept her mouth shut. Spencer looked so out of place, shuffling through Garcia's living-room with a vacant expression. He was shivering violently and when Morgan emerged from the small kitchenette the youth jumped wide eyed.

"Oh, hey Morgan," Spencer sniffled, "I didn't know you had company Garcia, I'll, eh, just go."

"No you won't," Garcia blocked his escape and her heart all but stopped when great fat tears spilled free coating his already damp cheeks, "Oh Spencer, oh baby boy, what's happened? Is it your mom, your dad?"

Choked by his own misery, Spencer shook his head.

"Is it Hotch?"

Morgan's question had the lithe genius twisting abruptly and his jaw dropping, "How did you—"

"Profilers pretty boy," Morgan responded dryly, "We all figured it out months ago, but we respected you both too much to say anything. Now, what happened, did you break up?"

Well, damn, he was not expecting that. Both Morgan and Garcia were perfectly okay with it, acting as if it were perfectly normal and the temper on both their faces was more for the fact that Hotch had caused their friend emotional harm as opposed to being angry with him.

"Sort of, I'm actually not sure," Spencer answered feebly before blurting out. "Did you know that five percent of American men are born with the breeder gene?"

"Are you telling me that Hotch may have called things off because you have the breeder gene?" Morgan demanded horrified.

"No, I'm saying Hotch may have called things off because I'm pregnant."

It's true what they say. Silence could be deafening and there was plenty of it for several seconds as Garcia and Morgan were processing the new information, "How far?" Morgan eventually croaked.

"Eighteen weeks."

"Okay," Morgan nodded calmly, "Garcia, get pretty boy dry, I'm gonna go kill Hotch!"

"Morgan!"

"Do not 'Morgan' me, you are almost five months pregnant and Hotch pulled this crap?! Jesus Christ, man, Hotch knows better!"

"I'm with Morgan on this," Garcia seethed practically trembling with temper, "You don't need the stress, and I'm beginning to see who was all for hiding the relationship. Is that why he freaked and pregnant or not, so help your credit rating if you lie."

Spencer nodded sadly, "At first it made sense. If Strauss ever found out it would've created a hell of a mess and by not telling you, you could honestly deny knowing without getting into trouble. But, after a while I wanted to be more, I even offered to transfer out of the BAU just so we could be without any harassment. Aaron wouldn't allow it and now I wonder is he just ashamed."

Spencer jumped when Derek dropped a t-shirt and sweats on the couch. He hadn't heard the agent leave and when Derek gestured for him to strip; he flushed dark crimson, "Morgan!"

"Just do it Reid," Morgan laughed, "Garcia's gonna make coffee and we're gonna get you dried and dressed."

Garcia swiftly made it scarce and with a reluctant grumble, Spencer peeled himself out of his sodden clothing. He understood why Derek was doing it. They all understood how tightly secluded Spencer could be if he so chose and with how, well, destroyed he was feeling, it was best not to find that proverbial corner and curl up with his misery as company. He had just pulled off his shirt and had slipped into the sweats when Garcia stepped back into the room.

"Oh my Gosh," she gushed at the sight of Spencer's swollen abdomen. Hastily she set the tray down on the table, practically hopped the couch and splayed her fingers over the stretched flesh. Spencer was astounded when tears actually filled her eyes, but temper was there too. "Oh my God, bossman is such an idiot!"

"I'm with you there baby girl," Derek agreed handing Spencer the oversized FBI tee, "He needs an ass kicking."

"It doesn't matter."

"The hell it doesn't!"

"Please Morgan," Spencer begged feebly, "let it go for me?"

"Let it—Spencer in little over twenty weeks there will be very physical evidence of what you and Hotch have been up to."

"Not if I don't say who the father is. It's no concern of the bureaus, if I can still do my job."

"And can you do that pretty boy?" Derek questioned gently. "Can you carry on; raise your baby all the while with Hotch not a foot away from you?"

"I looked after myself and my mentally ill mother for eight years; I think I can handle working with Aaron, even with his callous choices."

For his sake, Derek and Garcia really hoped so.

* * *

/~/~/~/~/~/~/

* * *

Derek had an ulterior motive for leaving the room. One that involved sending a quick text to Rossi, who was now on his way to see Hotch and the Italian man was nothing short of pissed. They all knew about the not so secretive relationship. They knew that since it had started both Hotch and Spencer were much happier, so why Hotch was still hiding it, was beyond the veteran Agent. The storm had settled to a dull roar, but the rain reigned supreme. Parking as close as he can, without practically ending up in Hotch's living-room, Rossi climbed from his SUV and trotted up to the front. It took about five rings before there was an answer and Hotch was already well on his way to a drunken oblivion, lucky Jack was with his Aunt tonight.

"Drinking our sorrows are we?"

"What in the blue fuck are you doing here?"

And that just showed the mood he was in. Hotch wasn't even bothering to be polite. He was completely hostile and didn't care who he directed it at. Without a word Rossi shoved passed him and made a beeline for the living-room. A fresh bottle of bourbon sat on the table and by the looks, three glasses had already been sucked down. Shaking his head, the man turned back toward his unit chief and waved a hand at the table.

"So, drinking yourself into oblivion, that's supposed to help with yours and Reid's relationship how?"

Something flashed in Hotch's eyes and a moment later the man shook his head, "He went to you?"

"No, he turned up at Garcia's in a horrible state. Morgan was there and contacted me. In reference to my previous question, how does the drinking help?" Hotch didn't answer and Rossi let out an irritated curse. "For God sake Hotch, if you've had a falling out then say something and—"

"Spencer's pregnant."

Rossi's expression was quite comical. His jaw all but dropped to his navel, eyes widening hugely and for several minutes he mouthed like a gaping salmon before he finely managed something akin to a cat strangled squawk, "W-What?!"

"Yeah," Hotch nodded dropping heavily into the nearest armchair, "Eighteen weeks, almost five months and he never told me."

"Ah, now I can see why you're so miffed."

"What? No, I'm pissed because I don't want this baby."

Rossi's head jerked around. The plot thickened and with it the veteran was fit to eat glass, "excuse me?"

"Oh don't take that condescending tone with me David Rossi. My relationships are no concern of yours."

"Like hell they aren't," Rossi howled in sudden fury, "This isn't like you Hotch, how, can you so callously walk away from your own child like that and you a father!"

Hotch surged to his feet, "Leave Jack out of this!"

Rossi shook his head in disgust, "You don't deserve Spencer or the baby." And with nothing more to say, he left, the door slamming so forcefully it all but shook the foundations.

* * *

/~/~/~/~/~/~/

* * *

The team knew, the entire frigging team knew and had for a while and were perfectly okay with it, so what the hell was Aaron's problem? He had no idea! It was Monday morning; the storm had passed leaving the clouds a dreary steel grey, with a chill in the air, but at least there was no more rain. Fuming, but at himself, Hotch pulled into the BAU parking lot and climbed out passing the odd Agent as he headed inside. He hoped there was no pressing case, if truth be told the Agent was hung-over as all hell and did not want to deal with anything beyond paperwork.

The bullpen was a flurry already and Hotch's heart gave a twist when he saw the familiar curly head of his lover already busy at work. Not too far from the doors Garcia, Morgan and Rossi stood talking and the second they noticed him Hotch was gifted with a trio of lethal expressions.

If looks could kill he'd have been six feet under and he'd deserve it too.

"Morning," Hotch greeted them carefully.

Out of sheer politeness and the need to keep up appearances, the trio greeted him. It was stiff, but it would suffice. Briefly Spencer lifted his head and looked back. He looked drained and after a single scathing glance, the youth returned his honey hues to his work.

"Hey, Hotch," JJ called coming from her office herself and Alex the only ones oblivious to the recent dramas, "We've got a case."

Ordering everyone to the round table room, Hotch took his usual seat between Spencer and Rossi. This close he was able to sneak the odd look at his lover, and it was rather obvious how tired the youth was. He also noticed his left hand flat against his belly. Spencer's oversized cardigan hid quite a bit, but knowing he was eighteen weeks pregnant, Hotch realised his thrumming fingers were no doubt an effort to soothe the wriggling infant within. God, a baby, _their_ baby! He had thoroughly screwed up and had no idea how to fix it.

"Alright we're going to New York." JJ began turning her remote toward the large screen and bringing up three faces, "We have three victims, Molly, Kelly and Tanya Evans. They're sisters and were all murdered in their homes in the last three days. All three of them were violently raped, beaten and their tongues cut out."

"That's what essentially killed them," Spencer commented nose wrinkling in disgust, "Not a pleasant or even quick way to go depending."

Rossi scowled, "Three sisters spaced out over three days. A family feud maybe?"

"That's what the NYPD are leaning towards." JJ confirmed. "The Evan's have a fourth daughter, and the NYPD can't find her."

Hotch stood, "hence why we were called in, alright, wheels up in thirty."

* * *

/~/~/~/~/~/~/

* * *

Spencer wasn't sure when it all went to hell. Hotch had sent JJ and he to Kyla Evans last known address and by a twisted turn of faith? Kyla was their Unsub, well one of them. Her boyfriend had been the other and he was currently cooling on her kitchen floor. She had killed her sister's in cold blood, with no real logical reason for her actions—or at least not one they had figured out as of yet—and when the pair of agent's had arrived at her home, she had taken them both hostage. Now her apartment building was surrounded, and Kyla was walking between Spencer and JJ ranting, waving a gun around.

Spencer's temple was bloody and his right wrist was broken. Kyla had struck him from behind and when he had fallen, in an effort to shield his swollen middle; his wrist had taken the hit. JJ sat next to him a tad bruised herself, her eyes keeping a watch on a frantic Kyla. Her phone was ringing again, no doubt Hotch and the others trying to get through, but the fiery brunette was ignoring it.

"Kyla," Spencer said threading carefully, "Kyla, you are not helping yourself."

"Do not tell me that like you fucking care!" Kyla shrieked in fury making the two Agents jump. Stalking toward them, Kyla bent her hand fisting it in Spencer's hair to rip his head back and the gun jabbed sharply into his belly.

Spencer yelped and squirmed, but thankfully Kyla hadn't noticed.

"Kyla, Kyla," JJ hurriedly said doing her best to placate the enraged youth, "Kyla you are in a serious amount of trouble. You do NOT want to add a Federal Agent to that list."

"I don't care, I'm getting dragged to jail either way, would it matter if I took a Fed with me?"

Spencer let out a whine of distress when the barrel of the gun bit in harder and the baby kicked frantically. Naturally, that caught Kyla's attention and Spencer sucked in a breath when the gun was taken away and a hand pressed harshly against his swollen middle.

"You're a breeder?"

Spencer caught JJ's dumbstruck expression, but he would deal with that later. Something in Kyla had softened, "Y-Yes...I'm a breeder."

"How far along are you?"

"Eighteen weeks," Spencer answered honestly.

A dreamy look came over Kyla's face, "I was gonna be a mama. She was so beautiful, I was gonna called her Sarah, but then my sisters told the doctors I wasn't mentally well. The doctors asked me a bunch of questions and then this bitch in a suit came and took my baby away."

"Kyla," JJ tried again, "please, you're putting unnecessary stress on him and you know that's not good for the baby. Please, end this."

"All I ever wanted was to be a mother. I was getting better, I was and Sarah was gonna be my new beginning." Kyla's face screwed up and tears escaped as she shook her head in defiance. "I have nothing left."

"No!"

Both JJ and Spencer shouted but it was no use. Kyla raised the gun jammed it under her chin and fired. The ringing of the shot danced in their ears, and briefly stunned, JJ and Spencer never heard the approach of the team.

Hotch had been in hell. JJ and Spencer had ended up in the worst case scenario and it was his fault. It put his lover and his unborn child at risk and if anything happened to them, it was his fault. They tried calling but Kyla wasn't answering the phone and taking a shot wasn't possible without risking JJ's or Spencer's life and when the shot finally rang out, his heart ceased in his chest. They rushed the building and there in Kyla's living-room they found their Unsub dead and when Spencer's voice filled his ears. Hotch had never been so happy in all his life. JJ was crouched by the youth probing his wrist. Spencer's expression was twisted in pain, but all in all he looked okay. When the final _clear_ was stated, Hotch was across the room in three strides and on his knees next to Spencer. JJ had enough tact to make it scarce and Spencer watched his lover extremely wary.

Then Hotch did the last thing he expected. He pulled Spencer against him and kissed him for all he was worth, a hand pressed lovingly against the swell of his abdomen, "I'm sorry," kiss, "I'm so, so sorry. I'm such a coward, I just...after Hayley I've been so afraid to allow anyone in and I turned hostile and took it out on you, I'm so sorry."

"It doesn't make you less of an idiot." Spencer chided and by those words alone, Hotch knew he was forgiven.

"A baby Spencer," he said in a hushed tone everyone else forgotten including the paramedic who was already strapping Spencer's wrist.

"Our baby," Spencer returned with a loving smile, forgiveness and all the promises of tomorrow.


End file.
